[If ever man, may mga wrong grammars ako, hayaan niyo na. Hindi naman ung grammar ko ung pinapa’puna ko. Ung story. Haha. Char lang! xD]


SHOBE ALAM KO MABIBIGLA KA SA PAG-ENGLISH KO. CHAR KA! GANITO ANG NAGAGAWA NG BITTERNESS SAKIN. KAHIT WRONG GRAMMAR NAKO, TULOY PA DIN. THAT'S WHY I HATE BEING BITTER. NAPAPA-SPEAK AKO NG IBANG LANGUAGE! :((

Yes it is. It’s bitterness striking again. Well, it all started Friday, February 19. It wasn’t really a bitterness day though but it ended a bitter night because of the stupid router. I hate it, really. It was a fine day. It was a “laughtrip” day with a bit of bitterness but still, ended bitter.

Then the next day came, it wasn’t bitter at first. Until WE/US had this bitterness talk then Shobe said that I was secretly bitter. I didn’t agree with that at first, but it was already 1am when I really found out that it was really a bitter day for me.

It was only me, Wilma (Kaps) and Ira (Bubblegum) were left in the conference. [Matira-matibay huh? LOL] But I didn’t know what kind of force or who’s that bad spirit that urged me to type his name in the search box of facebook and stalk his wall, his photos and his friends. I don’t know but I think it was already a hobby for me doing that. Stalking his facebook account, looking at his wall and his photos. I was checking once a week and I prefer doing that every weekend.

I don’t want to do that but really, I swear, there’s this something or someone that’s pushing me to keep doing that.

But anyway, it was 1 am when I got my connection back to the internet world— but still I was able to use Yahoo! Messenger though I wasn’t able to use facebook and stuffs— and first thing I did was to check on my notifications in facebook. After checking and did some replies/comments, I saw this search box of facebook. Then suddenly, he popped into my mind and then I just typed is name there and entered it.

I clicked his name and viewed his wall. I scrolled a lil’ to see his wall but then I was so eager to his photos because there were new ones. I clicked one new added album which name is “university banquet yea boi”. I saw these pictures of his and his so-called “bestie.”

After seeing those pictures, my curiosity started to bother me. I showed one photo of them to Wilma and Ira in the conference and told them about the pictures and those intriguing captions on it. I also I told that I was really curious if they’re just really “besties” or not. Then I asked them to see it theirselves and search for him.

After seeing those pictures, Wilma burst out her bitterness and I was really shocked because it was my first time seeing her being bitter. Really, I suddenly felt it wasn’t her. I wasn’t really used to her being bitter that much. But for me, I think, Ira wasn’t that bitter. The three of us were in the same boat though. We were being bitter.

But Wilma made me laugh when she said “naaasiwa akong tignan silang dalawa.” Something like that. Ira was showing some photos of them in the conference that’s which made Wilma say that.

Then it was only me and Wilma left in the conference. But still, Wilma keeps bursting her bitterness and I was just reading her replies.

The next day, Sunday, February 21, exactly 3 months before my 17^th birthday. It was I think 2 or passed 2 in the afternoon when I checked my facebook again and logged in to plurk to update my karma. And because I was really desperate to know the real score between him and his so-called “bestie” I checked his profile again and clicked the name of his so-called “bestie” to view her profile.  But it was a private one and I was just able to view her info. So I just clicked the “back” button, then checked is featured friends.

And then I figured it out. I tried clicking another name and clicked “back” button again and there I noticed. His featured friends are permanent. I mean, well, I guess you get what I mean right? So yea. BTW, I have 8 mutual friends connected to him. And one of them is his featured friend, which is CB, my classmate. And out of curiosity again, I scanned his wall. I viewed those older posts he had in his wall and saw some replies/wall posts from CB.

Then I also checked CB’s wall. And there I saw some “proofs”. There were a lot of them— shocking ones— wall posts. But I was really wondering. I know her. I know the person who she really likes, the one she’s going gaga over with. But it made me think, with those wall posts by him and his sister’s. I dunno. It suddenly made me bitter. It suddenly made me want to know CB more. And I felt like anytime I’m going slip these things out if ever I could have a chance to speak or have a conversation with her.

I DON’T KNOW. I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

I THINK I JUST HAVE TO MAKE MY SELF BUSY FOR ME NOT TO THINK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. And I think that would be the best thing for me to do. I don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want to waste my time stalking him, his wall or his photos or even his friends just to update me about him.

But I’m not hurting though. It’s just that, I don’t want any connections. Okay na sana ung kung so-called “bestie” nalang niya e. Ang ayoko lang talaga ung mga kakilala ko pa ung kinikilala niya o shinoshota niya. Nung una kasi ung kabatch ng kapatid ko ung shinota niya. Tapos ngayon naman, kaklase ko. Paunti-unti e. Eto na e. Malapit na sakin. Kaklase ko na pinopormahan. Di naman sa feeling ako or what pero. Ayoko talaga! Ayoko talaga ng connections. I hate it. I really, really, really do.

Oh well. But I didn’t end up bitter that night though. Na’BV ako sa connection so I decided to watch 7 Pounds. BV lang kasi I didn’t cry. Di tumutulo luha ko. Badtripssss. Well, atlis dahil sa 7 Pounds di ako natulog na bitter. HAHAHAHA! :))



*NOTE: Di pa to ung buong kwento. English kasi kaya d ko ma'kwento ng buo. HAHAHA. Bitter talaga ako last night nung tinype ko to e. hahaha. Kwento ko nalang next confe natin. LOL! :))